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By Jessie Powers

Right now as I type this my house is peaceful. Hymns are running through my mind, our daughter is peacefully sleeping in her crib, my husband is about to get up and head to work, and the sun is beginning its daily trek across the sky. I am pleased to admit that my house cozy, and full of wonderful memories. The promise of a day with new adventures waits.

11 years ago I could not have said all that. 11 years ago I was living in fear, pain, shame, and confusion. I felt abandoned by God. This God that I loved and had grown up loving, this God that I dedicated my life to serving seemed to be a god that was out of touch, that didn’t really care about me, that ignored me in my time of utter desperation. So, when I was at my worst in lieu of turning toward God and running into His comforting arms, His waiting peace, I ran the opposite way.

I took an act committed by men and blamed God. I blamed God for allowing human nature to run its course. I blamed God for my feelings, for my situation. In reality God was hurting just as much. God is our Abba, our Father and He loves us. He desperately loves us. When one of His precious children is abused He hurts. He hates to see us use the precious gift of choice to hurt each other. He wanted me to turn to Him. It had to be my choice though.

In my time of running I learned a lot of truths. I learned that the places where we expect to find God are not always the places where He is the most evident. I learned that good, loyal, lifelong friends are one of the most precious gifts on this earth. I learned that it is ok to admit that we are weak sometimes. I learned that rarely does life happen the way that we plan. I learned that no matter how far I run, no matter what I do, no matter how angry I get at the world, God still loves me.

I learned that even a broken vessel is beautiful to someone. 11 years ago I was a rape victim, a mother that lost the baby I conceived during the rape, I was a hopeless child craving the love of her Abba, and I didn’t know how to feel His love. I knew Him. I grew up knowing Him, but I didn’t know how to tune into that love when it was most needed.

We can now fast forward to today. The sun is beginning to peak over the mountains. My husband is getting ready to head off to work, and our 13 month old daughter is peacefully sleeping in her crib. Not only do I have the family that I have prayed for since I was a little child. I have something more. I have a hard won peace that comes from seeking God and finding Him. I have a joy that comes from knowing that after all this life has to throw at me (the beautiful and the ugly) I have Heaven waiting, and finally I will not just feel God in my soul I will get to see Him. I will get to say “Jesus, thank you. I love you. I praise you.” And that is why my book is entitled Joyfully After All.

Jessie Lee is the author of Joyfully After All: My Journey From Rape Victim to God’s Princess. It can be find in paperback and Ebook format on amazon.com. When she isn’t busy working on her next book or her blog (www.joyfullyafterall.wordpress.com) Jessie enjoys spending time with friends and family, both indoors and exploring the wonderful world God has created.  Jessie Lee can be found on Facebook under Joyfully After All and loves spending as much time as possible helping other women realize that no matter what happens, no matter what they do, God is offering them salvation, joy and peace.