I Am A Writer

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by Suzanne D. Williams

I looked up from my computer and realized it was past noon, yet in the last few hours, I’d written less than 500 words. My characters weren’t much further along than they had been, and the solution to that particular scene still eluded me. As I banged my head, figuratively, against the wall, time kept flowing. The sun rose higher in the sky, creatures stirred, flowers opened. People with “real jobs” went to work and accomplished their short-term goals.

How much of life have I missed buried in these stories? I love them. I adore writing. I make friends with those in my figmentary world. We carry on conversations, travel places, fall in love over and over again. Yet I find that I miss what I’ve lost. I miss what I could have done from eight to twelve, the laughter I could have shared with my daughter, my family and friends. I could have squeezed out a few more minutes in my garden … or with my dog. She’s twelve, and I hate to think it, but one day, she won’t be here, and I’ll have regrets.

I could have eaten one more meal with my family and formed another memory to keep. I could have visited a public garden with my camera and snapped a shot that encapsulates “me” today. I was lost in a world in my mind instead, trying to move John Doe closer to Jane Smith, wrestling with problems that don’t really exist except in black-and-white. That doesn’t really make me dislike being an author. I love it, actually. But I see how much balance plays a role.

It pays to stop and step aside sometimes, to turn off my head and not be thinking about the story. To admire the day and do something else sometimes. Those people I’ve made will still be there when I return, and maybe my head will be clearer, the scene shift into place. Plus, I’ll feel refreshed – more human – and less like an automaton, plugging in letters on the page.

My head says, “Write,” but my heart says, “Live. And it’s the “living” I’ve overlooked, that feeling of doing things, participating. I am a writer. I am also a wife, a mother, a daughter, a friend. I can spend time in prayer, read the Bible and build myself up spiritually. I can watch a TV program that’s been on DVR for over a month. I can bake a cake or plan a meal. Even a trip to the grocery store, as hated as that sometimes is, is part of this “life” God’s given me, and as great as books are, as much as I love words, I want to love my daily existence just as much and honor Him in it.

I will step away from the screen, lift my fingers from the keys, and “be”. Jane and John will forgive me.

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Suzanne D. WilliamsBest-selling author, Suzanne D. Williams, is a native Floridian, wife, mother, and photographer. She is the author of both nonfiction and fiction books. She writes devotionals and instructional articles for various blogs. She also does graphic design for self-publishing authors. She is co-founder of THE EDGE.

To learn more about what she’s doing and check out her extensive catalog of stories, visit http://www.feelgoodromance.com or link with her on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/suzannedwilliamsauthor or on Twitter at https://twitter.com/SDWAuthor.

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