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by BJ Robinson

Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert. Isaiah 43:19 KJV

Sickness gradually takes over my body. I’m weak and unhealthy, like a faded flower beneath a blazing sun. Born in New Orleans many years ago, my Louisiana sun is slipping behind the clouds, and the sun is going down. Even with glasses, I sometimes need a magnifying glass to read as my sight declines, but my eyes are open wide to God’s creative beauty all around me. I’m wheeled down the hospital hallway with nurses smiling and waving goodbye, glad to see me get my heart’s desire and go home to be with my husband and pets. My faith is much larger than a mustard seed, and I believe in the power of prayer. God has always answered my prayers. I’ve felt a hand on my shoulder as I’ve cried and prayed.

My mind reflects over the years and stages of life, like they say a drowning person relives their life. I’m drowning with congestive heart failure and wilting away as I relive the different parts of mine, from a child to a young bride, to college days, career days, losing loved ones, and being delivered from one life to another as God answered my prayer. I’m literally, gradually dying, yet somehow, with God’s help, I’m still clinging to life. Yes, my Louisiana sundown is fading. It’s dusk, but night will soon be falling. My life changed so fast there was no doubt in my mind that God guided and directed me when he delivered me from one life to another. He moved obstacles as though they were molehills instead of mountains.

I realize that odds are against me as doctors offer no hope or encouragement, but anything is possible with God. I know because I have witnessed His miracles. Even if they are ready to give up on me, I’m not ready to give up on myself. Science doesn’t hold all the answers, as they seem to think. I’ve learned that even doctors and nurses can be wrong. God is still in control, and miracles are as real today as they were when Jesus wandered the world to save and heal people in person.

The things the doctors and nurses warned me about when I left the last hospital didn’t happen as they said. Leaving that hospital was a far different experience than the previous one. No doctors or nurses wished me well, offered me any hope or encouragement, or provided a smile. I was wheeled outside in the hot sun and left by myself with a heart problem while I waited for my husband to get the car. No nurse stood by my side to help me as they did at both of the previous hospitals. Instead, they’d totally given up on me and said I was not a candidate for a heart transplant or a heart pump. 

Instead of hope, they spoke to my husband as though I were not there and could not hear them. A nurse warned, “She’s going to go down fast. You’re going to have to call 911 today. She could bleed out before you get her home. Without that drip, her heart won’t keep pumping. How will you feel if you find her dead?” They wanted to put me in Hospice. I didn’t want or need their services at the time and said no. I know I would’ve gone down quicker with them than doing for myself. The nurse told me I needed them to give me my medicine, and I said, “No, I don’t. I take it like clockwork when I’m home.”

I spoke up at that point and eyeballed the nurse as I said, “Stop trying to use fear and put a guilt trip on him. How will he feel if he leaves me here, and I die and never get to go home and be with him or see my pets again? If what you say is true, every day you keep me here, is a waste of my time. My time is precious, and I don’t have much left. I want to spend what time I have left at home with my husband and pets. I do not want to die in this hospital hooked to machines with wires that won’t allow me to walk the halls or use the bathroom by myself. Since I’ve been told there is nothing that can be done to help me, and I am not a candidate for surgery, there is no point in me staying here any longer. Nine days of my life have been wasted here, and I wish I had never come to this hospital in the first place. It was a waste of time and money and only drained my health more instead of helping me.” I heaved a heavy sigh and continued, “I’m tired of being told I’m fragile or too weak. Since I am, then I may as well go home.”

I’d previously told them that I was going home one way or another after telling them for days I was ready to go home, but no one would listen to me the entire time I was in that hospital. I kept telling them that if what they said was true, and I had no hope, each day they kept me was a wasted one away from my husband and pets. My time was precious, and I had very little of it left, and I did not want any more of it wasted in a hospital that couldn’t help me. They’d told me there was nothing they could do for me. All they wanted was for me to give up on myself, listen to them, die and get it over with, but I refused to do so. God was not through with me yet.

Read March’s serial devotional to discover what happens. Thank you for taking the time to read my devotional.

Won’t you let Him make a way for you? When you need help, ask God. Call upon Him!

Scripture taken from Holy Bible King James Version, edited by Russell Sherrard

Bio

B. J. Robinson writes Amazon best-selling historical romance and romantic suspense and enjoys writing in various genres. Her newest book, just published in January is A Southern Spring: A Story from a Backyard Swing, clean, wholesome contemporary Christian romance. There are numerous selections readers may choose from among romantic suspense, historical romance, mystery, and sweet contemporary romance. She has authored over thirty books including full-length novels, novellas, and short stories. Many are Amazon best sellers, and some have won awards. She is blessed with three girls, two boys, thirteen grandchildren, and three great grandchildren, her husband, and pets, a golden retriever and a husky. Robinson is an avid reader and passionate writer whose hope is to entertain her readers by taking them on a continuous journey to other worlds while reminding them of the beautiful one yet to come. If you would like to explore the various genres she’s written, please check out her Amazon Author page: https://www.amazon.com/B.-J.-Robinson/e/B007DNJIKU/ref=sr_tc_2_0?qid=1458731934&sr=1-2-ent