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by Precarious Yates.
Narrated by Artificial Intelligence, Jenny.
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Jesus said to them, “Come and have breakfast.” None of the disciples dared ask him, “Who are you?” They knew it was the Lord. Jesus came, took the bread and gave it to them, and did the same with the fish. This was now the third time Jesus appeared to his disciples after he was raised from the dead. When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?” “Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.” Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.” The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Feed my sheep. Very truly I tell you, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go.” Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then he said to him, “Follow me!””
John 21:1-19 NIV
Have you ever wanted to crawl in a hole? Wear a mask? Hide?
Shame is one of those universal feelings that no one wants anything to do with. We try to hide it with all kinds of armor over our hearts, bury it beneath work or entertainment, or mask it. Shame is paralyzing. It’s one of the heaviest chains in on the heart.
People try to fling the shame they feel onto others. Weaponizing shame is a frequent tactic in most societies. In this way and others, shame hinders so many of our relationships. It hinders our dreams, our conversations, and quite poignantly it hinders our mission as Christians.
Shame tries to cling to us because of the things that have been done to us, the things we have done, or the things our groups or cultures have done. Shame steals our peace, our passion, and sense of mission.
Jesus, by His cross, dealt with all the manifold ways that shame rears its ugly head.
The disciples didn’t perceive that fully yet, especially Peter.
Peter said that he was willing to die with Jesus, and within five hours he denied three times that he even knew Jesus, one of those times was to a servant girl. Jesus had taught them “Woe to those who deny me,” and “I will deny those who deny they know me,” “One of you will betray me,” and “woe to that one who betrays me.”
Have you ever promised you’d do something that you didn’t do? Or have you ever promised that you’d never do something and it’s the very thing that you get caught up in?
I wish I could say that I have never been acquainted with that level of shame—shame that threatens to drown and overwhelm, the sort that absolutely convinces you that there is nothing—nothing that could ever make it right again.
And then, in a quiet and ordinary way, like a still small voice, Jesus shows up.
This story from the Gospel of John immerses you in the moment. The visuals are stunning. Most of the dialogue is the sort you can imagine yourself having with a friend or business partner. “Let’s go fishing.”
Peter was supposed to be a fisher of men, but he couldn’t even fathom that with the shame that flooded him. So he went fishing on the Sea of Galilee.
“We will go with you,” his friends said. I find this so beautiful. They didn’t reject Peter. They didn’t refuse his friendship. They chose to be with him when he was struggling. They understood fishing together. Peter had previous success with fishing, and you get this sense that Peter wanted to have a win, and his friends wanted him to have the win, too. Jesus never rebuked them for going fishing. In fact, he called out from the shore, “Friends, do you have any fish?” He called them friends—still—after everything. He called them friends when they were in the thick of feeling defeated.
“No,” they answered.
Jesus replied, “Throw your net on the other side of the boat.” And they did. They remembered Jesus giving fishing strategies before, and they had tremendous success every time they listened. God has strategies for us, even when we feel like we’ve tried everything and failed, and even when we have failed Him. When we listen to His strategies, the changes in our circumstances are almost immeasurable. Some of those changes are external, and some are not. There are always internal changes when we listen to Him. Always.
The disciples caught so many fish that they could just barely haul them onto the boat. This moment of success was when Peter recognized the Lord. Yes, God is there in the hard times and through the failures, but He wants us to succeed as well. While He spoke to them in the upper room, Jesus said, “You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you.” ~ John 15:16 NIV
We bring God glory when we praise Him through the failures and in the hard times, and we also bring God glory when we succeed.
Peter put his coat on, jumped into the water, and swim toward the shore. This act of putting his coat on further shows is the shame that he felt. When we feel shame, we want to cover up. Hide it. I hate that feeling. Don’t you? That feeling that I need to run from God because what would He want to do with someone like me? But we need to run to God, not from Him, when we feel the deluge of shame. Jesus’ conversion with Peter is a reminder of that. Peter was called to feed the sheep, feed the lambs, and God didn’t remove that calling when Peter messed up. God restored Peter to his calling. But Jesus had to deal with Peter’s shame first.
Peter knew he had done wrong. He knew exactly what he had done wrong.
Sometimes we’ve done wrong and we don’t realize it at first. Leviticus 4 talks about that. What did they do? If you sinned unintentionally, you made a sacrifice and were thankful for forgiveness.
Jesus is the perfect sacrifice for all sins. Jesus had taken care of Peter’s sin.
But what if we learn about what we have done wrong, or what Christians have done, and we can’t shake the shame because we don’t have anyone whom we have wronged to apologize to or reconcile with? Can God restore confidence in our hearts?
Yes!
“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death.” ~Romans 8:1-2 NIV
No condemnation means that we can boldly approach the throne of grace and receive God’s love and grace for every situation.
No condemnation means that when we are confronted about a wrong that we or our group did, we can say, “Yes, what happened to you was wrong. I am sorry that happened.” And we don’t have to do penance, and we don’t have to wait five months or five minutes before God fully restores us. We can confess with confidence because the forgiveness is already there. The shame has already been carried. Jesus carried that shame for us. Either that’s as real as the Bible says, or it’s not. We don’t have to trust our feelings. Jesus carried the shame.
“Do you love me?” Jesus asked Peter, and He asks us. Agape love. Philos love. Jesus wants it all. And He wants us confident enough to show it. Because whatever we do for the least of these, we do for Him.
Amen!
You are loved!
About the Author:
Precarious Yates has lived in 8 different states of the Union and 3 different countries, but currently lives in Texas with her husband, her daughter and their big dogs. When she’s not writing, she enjoys music, teaching, playing on jungle gyms, praying and reading. She holds a Masters in the art of making tea and coffee and a PhD in Slinky® disentangling.
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