by Precarious Yates
Climbing up out of a slump of selfishness, and I find, I am still loved by you.
Reaching out and encountering silence, yet even within the silence stands the truth: I am still loved by you.
There are days when the miracles seem so close. And there are days when the miracles are a million miles away. On all these days, I am still loved by you.
There you are, shining your sunshine on me whether I am selfish or pursuing you, whether I am kind or demeaning. There you are, sending your sweet rain when I am grumpy and sending your sweet rain when I am generous. Your reality is so much stronger than all my inconsistencies, and within your reality, I am still loved by you.
While I was conniving.
While I was grieving.
While I hated you and slandered you and said all kinds of false things about you, you still died for me. You died to cover all of that. You died to give me life, joy, and peace in exchange for all my hopelessness, depression, and fear. And you didn’t stop there. You continued to give, even to give me the gift of gifts: yourself, and the ability to love you.
After all these years, after facing, with you, all of my fears, after days of joy and days of tears, I awake to find that I love you. Because you first loved me.
While I’m alone, and while I am in limbo, and while the world hangs in the balance of scales we cannot fathom, I am loved by you, and I can still love you.
While we observe a week so holy, while we flatten the curve, self-isolate, try to find ways to bless others without infecting others, we are still loved by you, and we still love you.
In our loneliness you comfort us, in our creativity you inspire and create with us, in our uncertainty you anchor us in hope.
This week, Immanuel, God With Us, the Holy One of Israel, I fix my eyes on you. I long to admire, again, all the ways you showed your love when first you came. And I long to observe all the ways you show love to us now. And I long to tell you that after all these years, I still love you, and look forward to being empowered by you to love you more.
Dear readers,
Somewhere around 3300 years ago, God, YHWH the Lord Almighty, freed his people from slavery. They had to pass a night in isolation, a night of a devastating plague, a night under the blood of the paschal lamb, a night where the Lord himself kept watch, and they were delivered.
Just as, back then, his people were loved tenderly and led with compassion, so today, the tender mercies of the Lord are available to you. He still loves you. Perhaps in this unique time, when, like the first Passover, we have the directive to stay in place, we have the unique opportunity to meditate on his everlasting faithfulness. May you be blessed this week with his peace that passes understanding: may it guard your heart and your mind in the knowledge and love of our Lord Jesus Christ. May you hear his whisper this week, as he says again and again, “I still love you.”
God bless you!
Precarious Yates
About the Author:
Precarious Yates has lived in 8 different states of the Union and 3 different countries, but currently lives in Texas with her husband, her daughter and their big dogs. When she’s not writing, she enjoys music, teaching, playing on jungle gyms, praying and reading. She holds a Masters in the art of making tea and coffee and a PhD in Slinky® disentangling.
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