By Diana Brandmeyer
This past year has been a struggle for me as a writer, wife and mother. For nine months I struggled to find an answer to why my body required what seemed to be 23 hours of sleep or couldn’t get a good breath. Then there was the puzzle of my brain. Why couldn’t I think or retain information? It had turned into a giant-sized, brand-new, blank white board. Not even the trace of a previous marker was evident. I finally understood what my husband refers to as his “nothing box” where he goes when he’s stressed. He truly is telling me the truth when I ask, “What are you thinking about?” and he replies, “Nothing.”
When you can’t think or stay awake it is impossible to feed your family, clean house or do your job. My chosen job is to write books. I couldn’t plan meals, and shopping for groceries? No way did I have the confidence to get behind a steering wheel. I couldn’t drive without falling asleep, pushing a cart filled with food felt more like a starred hike– strenuous, with significant elevation change and difficult terrain.
We ate a lot of hotdogs and take out.
My writing consisted of a few emails to friends and searching the Internet for what could be wrong. My children have their own homes, and I talk to them once a week. During this time I don’t think I did. I can’t remember. I would ask the same question five seconds after I’d been given the answer. At first it was funny, and then it became frightening.
If I were a computer I would describe it as out of memory and the deathly blue screen—time for new one.
But I’m human, and my replacement can’t be found at a big box store. I prayed for answers as did my husband, children and friends. I lacked confidence we’d ever discover what was wrong. All the medical tests were coming back as “not it.”
At one point I realized I had to turn from my confidence in finding the answer on the Internet or doctor’s office to Godfidence. Once I realized that the worst thing that could happen was being in my Father’s arms my Godfidence grew mountain high and oceans wide.
I have recovered-almost. I still have tiredness and memory problems, but I have Godfidence and can persevere until I am called home. With Him guiding me through each day I am getting stronger and ideas are for new books are starting to appear on the white board. I’m able to make plan menus and have the energy to shop for food.
I’ve seen other unexpected changes with my new Godfidence clothes. I’m not as afraid of doing new things and my anxiety levels are lower. I’d have to say I’m looking pretty good in my Godfidence attire.
How about you? Are you attempting to rely on your own confidence to obtain your goals or solve a problem? Why not slide into your Godfidence armor and see what He does?
For you have been my hope, Sovereign Lord, my confidence since my youth. Psalm 71:5
Mind Of Her Own
Who knew making dinner could change your life? Louisa Copeland certainly didn’t. But when the George Foreman grill fell out of the pantry onto her head, resulting in a bump and a mighty case of amnesia, Louisa’s life takes a turn for the unexpected. Who was this Collin fellow, claiming she was his wife? And whose kids are those? Her name couldn’t be Louisa. Why, she was the renowned romance writer Jazz Sweet, not a Midwestern mom of three. Struggling to put the pieces together of the life she’s told she had, Louisa/Jazz may realize that some memories are better left alone.
Read first chapter: http://www.dianabrandmeyer.com/mind-of-her-own/
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Mind-of-Her-Own-ebook/dp/B00AEB3B6K/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1359401819&sr=8-1&keywords=mind+of+her+own SHORT LINK http://ow.ly/htS3n
Nook: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/mind-of-her-own-diana-lesire-brandmeyer/1113498025?ean=9781414381022 SHORT LINK http://ow.ly/htS6P
Chrisitanbook.com http://www.christianbook.com/mind-of-her-own-ebook/diana-brandmeyer/9781414381022/pd/34192EB?product_redirect=1&Ntt=34192EB&item_code=&Ntk=keywords&event=ESRCP SHORT LINK http://ow.ly/htSbd
Christian author, Diana Lesire Brandmeyer, writes historical and contemporary romances. Author of Mind of Her Own, A Bride’s Dilemma in Friendship, Tennessee and We’re Not Blended-We’re Pureed, A Survivor’s Guide to Blended Families. Once widowed and now remarried she writes with humor and experience on the difficulty of joining two families be it fictional or real life.
Bigger. Better. Together.
Stories of love, blending and bonding.