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by Parker J. Cole

For probably the fourth week in a row, I pick up my phone to call Granny at the nursing home? and remember she?s not here anymore.

It?s strange how those things still happen. I know she?s not there, but sometimes I forget. Lately, I?ve been trying to distract myself. My birthday is looming and for the first time, she?s not with me to celebrate it.

Really, there?s enough to do with writing, podcasting, and the like to keep me from focusing on that. Sometimes, I deliberately stuff my day with things to do so I don?t have time to consider Granny?s absence.

Then sometimes, there isn?t enough to blot out that void.

Over the past several months since Granny went home, I?ve considered it a special blessing bestowed upon me by the Most High God to have something a lot of people haven?t.

I?ve had Granny with me my entire life.

That week after her passing, I kept hollering and crying. Wanting her with me so much. Then, the day of the funeral, as the family closed the casket together, a wave of thankfulness like I?ve never experienced came over me.

I?ve had Granny with me my entire life.

What does that mean?

It meant I developed a relationship that grew as I did from childhood to adulthood. From writing and reading together, watching movies, baking, and knitting, to dealing with triumphs and disappointments in life.

From every apartment and house I?ve resided in, she was there. Every car I owned, we rode together. When I published my first book, she was the first to buy it. Dealing with horrible bosses, lost friendships, new opportunities, moments of failure, successful highs ? she was there.

There?s a memory that encapsulates this.

I can remember once I was upset about a situation and I drove to her apartment at the senior citizens building. It was midnight, and I was crying and carrying on. She buzzed me in, and I ran down the dimly lit hall to her opening the door.

?Mama, what are you still doing up?? I asked, rather stupidly.

?Old people don?t need a lot of sleep,? she?d said.

She let me into her apartment, and I was surrounded by the essence of Granny that had been with me my entire life. The familiar sight of her handwritten calendar, to the pictures of family taped to the wall. Her neat, tidy kitchen and the TV in the background with a John Wayne western on.

Granny sat back down in her chair covered with a colorful crocheted blanket and I fell on the floor and laid my head on her lap, crying my eyes out.

There. That place on Granny?s lap converged both childhood and adulthood.

I never told her the problem and she never asked. All she did was let me cry as she scratched my back gently.

Afterward, she said something to the effect of, ?My dear, you have to pray when life gets hard.?

How wonderful to think the Lord gave me a place of refuge in the form of Granny? my whole life.

And it?s still there, even though she?s not here. For the Lord calls to my memory the lovely things Granny and I shared. Only He can now fill the void shaped by her presence.

If you are a grandparent, never underestimate the impact you have in your grandchildren?s live for as scripture says:

Grandchildren are the crown of the aged, and the glory of children is their fathers. Proverbs 17:6

About the Author:

Parker J. Cole is a writer and radio show host who spends most of her time reading, knitting, writing, cooking, and concocting new ideas for stories. Her first novel, Dark Cherub, won Best of Spring Reading 2013 from eMediaCampaigns. She lives in Michigan with her husband and beloved dog Sarah.

Visit her site at http://www.ParkerJCole.com