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by Ruth O’Neil

So often we want to shield our children from all the things that are bad in the world. My husband and I were no exception. Until one day when we realized that we could use these life lessons to show our kids there are consequences to the sin in our lives. In a word, they could learn at someone else’s expense. 

We had tried to teach them using examples from the Bible of people who didn’t do things God’s way. Sarah knew God said she would have a son, but she got tired of waiting and sent Abraham to her servant Hagar. That was not one of her best decisions!  

Rebekah wanted Jacob to have the coveted birthright and they both lied to get what they wanted. Jacob ended up having to leave home for fear that his brother would kill him.  

David saw a beautiful woman that he just had to have as one of his own. He brought her into his home, spent the night with her and she became pregnant. David tried to cover up his sin by murdering the husband so he could marry her.  

There are so many more examples from the Bible on how not to live our lives, but those can sometimes seem like characters from a story and not real people. It can be hard for our children today to relate to them. However, there are people living on the earth today that can do a great job of showing our children how not to live their lives.  

One member of our family was in a physical relationship with a girl who was not only way too young for him, but also way too immature. His brothers did the godly thing and reminded him that they weren’t married and should not be living together. More than one person warned him the girl might get pregnant. He usually just shrugged his shoulders and said, “She’s taking care of that.” However, he was foolish, reckless, irresponsible, and the girl did become pregnant. Not with just one baby, but with twins! 

The couple constantly fought and argued. The guy knew he was not in love with the mother of his children and had no interest in marrying her. 

Amidst the fighting and arguing there was talk of giving the twins up for adoption. My husband really didn’t want our kids to hear about it. He would rather they be kept completely in the dark, that way there would be no heartache for them later. 

But, there was the problem of the mother being around and her growing belly would soon tell all of their secrets. I knew secrets like that couldn’t be kept long, especially with our daughters who were nine and twelve at the time. I convinced my husband that we had to tell our kids, but that we could also explain this is what happens when you don’t follow God’s rules. If the couple had been in love and had been married when the unexpected pregnancy occurred, there would not have been all the problems and animosity that arose because of it. 

Throughout the next nine months, our girls were able to witness the misery brought on by having sex outside of marriage. They sometimes heard the arguments. They saw that the father of the babies was always stressed. They saw that he ignored his girlfriend’s phone calls. Since the couple eventually decided to keep the babies, my girls witnessed how much money was spent on taking care of them. They knew the financial burden on the father who was required to pay almost half of his month’s salary in child support. They heard when there was arguing about who got the kids when. I sometimes think this experience scared them from being intimate before their wedding nights. They knew they never want to be in the position of being a single parent or worse yet, having to make the choice of keep or give up for adoption. 

Bad things are going to happen to us and to those around us. We can choose to either hide it from our children or use it to show what God’s plan is for our lives.

About the Author:

Ruth O’Neil has been writing for over 20 years. She has published hundreds of articles in numerous publications. She loves to touch the emotions when she writes. “If I can make one person laugh or cry, I’ll consider myself successful.” Her first novel “Come Eat at My Table” has just come out in ebook form and can be purchased on her website. She homeschools her three children (well, one now, as two have graduated). She and her husband have been married for 20-plus years. In her spare time she enjoys quilting, crafting, and reading. You can visit her on her blog at ruths-real-life (dot)blogspot.com or her website at ruthoneil (dot)weebly.com